ExpressionsFaith

Boy bondage!!!

Bondage: the state of being a slave.

Boy bondage is something that has come to my attention. It’s basically what I think many, girls are going through, and probably without realising since it’s been normalised for girls to be heavily focused on guys and wanting a bae. But, there’s an unhealthy aspect to the prominence of this in the female gender. Obviously I’m not referring to all females. But, a huge majority. I’ll put my hand up and saying I’ve experienced boy bondage. Lol. I gotta keep it real with y’all… pretty much from the time I probably watched a Disney film or something like that, basically whatever thing in my childhood put into my mind the idea of fairytales, boyfriends and girlfriends, romance alla that, most definitely impacted me all the way into my teens and I was blind to it until recently.
Funnily enough, I’ve never had a boyfriend, which is not a big deal (but I used to think it was, when I was in boy bondage). The combo of not having a boyfriend and being in boy bondage was a recipe for internal desperation, insecurities and low self esteem. Even if I didn’t show it outwardly, since I was forever trying to play it cool…
I realise now that I was frustrated for a long time, but really for no reason. I was only eager and under pressure to have male attention simply because I was in bondage. This bondage had me tied up into this feeling that, that’s what I “needed”. And so I was striving for it both consciously and subconsciously the thought of getting a boyfriend was always at least at the back of my mind. How tiring… it was mainly because I’d grown up to believe that it was protocol. That it was a normal part of growing up to be in relationship, It thought I needed an “ex” or even two so I can fit in, since it seemed everyone else had this. Like many other girls, I wanted to complain about how my ex wouldn’t leave me alone and is trying to get back with me… lol it’s sad but just being real.

Anyway, it’s funny for me now looking back, I guess that’s why I can be open about it. But there’s still a sad and serious element to this. Since, it did contribute to my feelings of low self worth and insecurity (which I have overcome, thanks to Jesus). And I didn’t always allow for myself to see males as just friends and brothers as my desire to be in a relationship would be lurking… which is unfair to guys since they don’t owe me a relationship simply because they are a guy who I may be attracted to.

Just to round things up now,
Ladies, it’s okay I can imagine I’m not the only who’s experienced some of these things, I hope my transparency can be a light that liberates you from boy bondage. Don’t be ashamed, we live and we learn. Once we know better we do better.
To any boys reading this… I hope this post lifts of a burden from you that you’re not simply just a means to a relationship! You’re more than that, you are a friend and a brother. And listen up guys, I’m being for real you can actually be happily single and be friends with the opposite sex, this myth that boys and girls can’t be friends needs to go it only creates a barrier in boys and girls having genuine friendships if we constantly view each other as “potentials”.

If you are struggling from any of the above, realise that you can overcome it. If I did it, I’m only human, therefore so can you.

Our God can renew our minds and purify our hearts, He wants to help us and set us free from bondage!

Romans 12:2 – Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

John 8:36 – So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.

Light and love always <3

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Gamu

I write a joint blog with my friend, in my posts I aim to encourage and uplift others and share positive messages. I am a follower of Jesus Christ and aim to incorporate my faith within my posts.

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