Purple and Clay: I have been thinking about marriage.
I have been thinking about marriage. Not because I want to think about it, but because the Holyspirit has been dealing with my heart in terms of some of the ideologies I have about relationship and marriage.
Let me share something personal with you. There was a time I didn’t want to get married. I once said that to my Mum and she just told me to never say that again but it didn’the change the fact that I was scared of a committed relationship.
Be careful with the words you say.
So I decided that since I have to get married, I need to get a Masters degree, PhD, buy a house and have a certain amount of money so that my husband will not have any reason to disrespect me and even if he does, I can just pack up and leave. I also had a long list of requirements of the man I planned to settle down with. Some of these requirements were ridiculous, so I will not even go into that now. *inserts grin*
Whenever anyone talked about marriage or romantic relationships, I cringed. I would say something like ”why are we always talking about relationship, can we not talk about our academics or career goals?’’
I felt like a lot of people were obsessed with the idea of marriage and relationship which is why they wanted to talk about it all the time especially on social media.
As I am getting closer to God, and my relationship with the Lord is beginning to blossom, He has been transforming my heart in that regards.
One of the things I am learning is that the coming together of a man and a woman for marriage according to God’s design is very beautiful . “Marriage is honourable in all…’’ (Hebrews 13:4) It is more than having someone to cook for you or have sex with you. It is a representation of the relationship that God has with the Church. It is powerful and purposeful. It can change the dynamics of a whole generation. It is about brokenness, dependency and vulnerability which are concepts related to worship. So, I don’t need to have it all together before deciding to settle down just because I want a safe landing if the marriage fails.
Marriage can determine the dynamics of a whole generation.
Another thing that the Holyspirit is teaching me is that marriage is an expression of purpose. So, there is nothing wrong with preparing for it like you are preparing for purpose.
Lately, I have been reading books, watching videos and spending time with Lord in preparation for everything I believe He has called me to be and to do.
I have been trying to equip myself for the task that is ahead and the challenges that the responsibilities will bring with it. I always look out for events related to my purpose as well as engage in conversations with people who are already doing something similar to what I would like to do. I have been doing all of this in preparation for my fiture. Interestingly, marriage wasn’t one of the things I was preparing for.
A few days ago when I was carrying out one of these activities, the Holyspirit told me that if I was spending so much time and energy investing in my purpose and relationship with God, then I should stop turning down books and conversations about marriage because marriage is also an expression of purpose.
That day, He taught me about how marriage is a form of ministry that would last most of my life. The person I am in marriage and the person I choose to end up with will determine to what extent I actually achieve God’s purpose for my life. So, I needed to prepare for it.
In other words, while I am studying about my future career, how to fully walk in purpose, how to walk in the gifts of the spirit, how to work in the office God has called me to, how to surrender more to the Holyspirit, how to bear the fruits of the spirit, I also need to prepare for marriage.
Marriage is an expression of purpose.
To be very honest, this has been a bit difficult for me and 9 times out of 10 I would rather have a conversation about anything but marriage. But God is working on my heart. He is breaking and molding me into the woman He wants me to be and causing me to think the way He thinks. He is making me unlearn ideologies I have held in my heart about marriage and relationship and how to see things the way he sees it not the way society wants me to.
With all this said, we should never turn our purpose, works, ministry, desires etc to an idol. Christ should always be our focus. Nothing should come before God and our intimacy with God no matter how good it is. So even in marriage, we should never allow the desire to get married come before our desire to know God even more intimately. We should never allow our desire to walk in that spiritual gift or office that God has called us to come before knowing God more intimately. ”…Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind…’’ (Luke 10:27 )
Christ should always be our focus.
Our desire should first be to know God, and even in preparing for other things that He has called us to, we should seek first to know Him and depend on Him to be and to do all that He wants from us.
Maybe you are reading this, and you have not yet seen the best example of marriage done God’s way. Maybe your idea about marriage is based on the family that you grew up in or the people that are around you. It may even be as a result of what you see on social media, movies that you watch or personal experience. Maybe in your eyes, your ideals are right but are those ideals from God? Are you seeing marriage the way that God sees it? Maybe it is time to renew your mind.
As Christians, we should never let the standard that the world set determine our stand or ideologies. #notetoself
Or maybe you have placed the desire for marriage and a romantic relationship above your desire to know God. It is time to re-evaluate your priorities and what you have sold your heart to. Return to your first love.
I believe that marriage done God’s way is beautiful. It will have its own challenges (so will every good thing that comes from God), but as long as it is a ‘God thing’, as long as we continue to build our relationship with Him and depend on Him, He will cause all things to come together for our good.
Marriage done God’s way is beautiful.
Thank you for reading, I want to know your thoughts so please leave a comment below.
Love and Light.x