READY OR NOT? (Single Series) 1
So I’m single, and for sometime.. I’ve been feeling ‘relationshipy’, lol. That feeling when you want someone (a beloved) I even prayed about how I was feeling and God spoke a word to me through my mentor.
God was a bit silent when I prayed and I knew and still know He wants me to focus on Him. (See Matthew 6:33.) He also told me something else. I will speak about that in the next post.
I felt I was ready for a relationship but I was wrong because God is still at work in me and my heart. I’m getting there though. So many times we want something or we think we need it. But God knows best, He can never bring what will harm us, He loves us too much and He also doesn’t want us to harm the other person when we’re in a relationship.
If you are currently in that single phase and you kinda want a relationship. Pray about it but focus on God. If you’re like me and you know God wants you to wait on Him and spend more time knowing yourself and knowing Him.
Here’s what you can do:
The bible says that men ought to always pray and not to faint. Luke 18:1.Never underestimate the power of prayer and by prayer I don’t mean praying for a relationship all the time. I even believe that it is wiser to pray over your future spouse than to pray for a relationship. I’m not saying it’s wrong but God will do things in the right time, so don’t over think it. It is very important to build your prayer life. Pray for the Church, pray over your destiny, pray for your family, your pastor, your friends, your future spouse, your future children- anything God lays on your heart. A prayer-less woman is a powerless woman. A prayer-less woman won’t get much out of life. Even Jesus prayed, He prayed for us in John 17.
BUILD YOUR CHARACTER
Man looks at the outward but God looks at the heart 1 Samuel 16:7. The thing you look for in a future spouse should be qualities you should be developing because people of similar characteristics attract each other. If there are any character traits you’re dealing with, maybe anger, pray about it ask the Holy Spirit to help you, study the word of God and allow it to cleanse you. I was dealing with being sarcastic and having sexual thoughts and I’ve seen improvements. Don’t be proud to change, no one is perfect.
BUILD SOLID FRIENDSHIPS
Sometimes people end up with men they were friends with. Don’t be afraid to be friends or be friendly with the opposite sex, the Godly ones. Talk to people, learn how to be a good friend to someone, pray for your friends, sharpen each other spiritually, mentally and even emotionally. Add to each others lives. Let your friendships draw you closer to God. If you don’t have Godly friends, pray about it. The Bible says that woe is a man that falls without anyone to pick him up (Ecclesiastes 4:10) so He will give you Godly friends.
DEAL WITH SIN
You might have some sin you’re fighting at the moment. Don’t think being in a relationship will be the thing that’ll help you overcome it, it is only God. The blood of Jesus cleanses us and also the word cleanses us. Study the word, when you sin learn to ask for forgiveness and get back on track. Ask God to help you, surround yourself with people that you can’t fall in sin while you’re with. Be mindful of your environment, be mindful of your thoughts and what you think about. Now is the time to guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23)
FIND YOUR PURPOSE
The period of singleness is the best time to find your purpose in life. Knowing your purpose births vision, it will even help you in finding a suitable spouse because when you have a vision of your life you can know if you see your vision in a man or a woman’s vision. When you find purpose, you will be occupied in walking in God’s plan for you and focusing on God rather than focusing on a relationship or a spouse. God has amazing plans for us. See (Jeremiah 29:11, 1 Corinthians 2:9) ask God what you were called to do and ask Him how to go about it.
Do not be weary because you’re not dating anyone. Enjoy your life. Do the things that make you happy. Spend time with friends and family, relax, travel – do your thing. In God’s presence there is joy, not just joy but fullness of joy! (Psalms 16:11). God has called us into a joyful life in Him. Build your talents, if you’re in university join a club or society that relates with what you love doing, be yourself. Don’t try to pretend because you want someone to approach you. Be who God has designed you to be and when the time comes God will bring the right person. He makes everything beautiful in its time, not in your time but in its own time. (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
SERVE GOD WHILE SINGLE
In the kingdom of God, you reap what you sow. You cannot ignore the things of God, treat God like trash and expect the best things in life including a Godly husband to come your way except you repent. (Matt 6:33). Your singlehood is the best time to serve God. Don’t miss it. Don’t waste time trying to be popular with men, or bothering about how many likes or followers you have. Serve God according to the grace given unto you and if you desire grace or more grace to serve, ask Him, He will freely pour out His grace. Join a service group, be actively involved in kingdom service. The rewards are awesome. Please, I emphasise on this, serve God and draw closer to Him. (Ecclesiastes 12:1 & Matthew 22:37)
For me, this is very essential. Carry yourself like royalty, that is who you are, don’t bring yourself down all in the name of humility. Don’t let people bring you down or make you feel small. Have respect for yourself, don’t be everywhere or at every event. Spend time in places where like-minded people are, people who respect you and whom you can equally respect. The fact that you’re looking to be in a relationship doesn’t mean you should compromise and allow boys at a party to touch you how they like or to do what everyone else is doing just to be liked and accepted. Jesus knew who is was He said in John 14:6 that He is the way, the truth and the life. He respected Himself and also the Father that created Him, you should too.
TAKE CARE OF YOU
Don’t neglect yourself because you’re single, take good care of yourself. Take care of your skin and wash your body properly. Eat right and exercise (if you feel led to). Your body is the temple of God (1 Corinthians 6:19), do not be slothful about caring for yourself just because you feel you have no one appreciating you. Look nice and dress like a child of God, be presentable. Wear clean clothes and perfume and body spray won’t hurt as well. You get the gist, begin to see yourself the way your Father sees you.
I pray this blessed you as much as it blessed me and even more. These are just some points. I’ll post more as the spirit leads. Cheers to maximising our singleness. I pray we all find true love, I pray that just like the Bible says that Isaac loved Rebekah (Genesis 24:67), your future spouse will love you with the love of Christ. God bless you.